Let the tweeting commence! Round One is a massive undertaking from a judging perspective, so we’re also making it one of our most challenging in terms of restrictions. You have 10 words. That’s it. You can use fewer, but no more. You can structure your tweet any which way you want Pretty much tweet any humorous joke you want in 10 words or less. Good luck having a conversation with your fed-up spouse or confusing a barista with your meandering stream-of-consciousness ponderings!
Theme: 10 Words or Less
Restrictions: No meta-tweets about the fact that you are attempting to tweet with only 10 words or participating in a tweet contest. We didn’t spend all this building a fourth wall to have you break it down in the first round, Kool-Aid Men (and Women).
Due: June 4 11:34am Send Tweets and order of which tweets start middle and finish for your team.
Answers to Real Questions:
-One emoji count as 1 word
-An action counts as a word (yes, this has been asked)
-When the Stray Cats play “Rock This Town” while on tour, they replace the words “this town” with the name of the town they’re playing. For example, “We’re gonna rock Houston, rock it inside out!”
-Each team will need to submit their tweets as per usual and tell me the order they are battling. So you’ll need an opener tweet a middle tweet and a closer.
-These tweets go against the other team in the order they submitted.
-The team that wins 2 of 3 battles moves on to the next round.
One winning team will get one tweet each made into an Obscure Gentlemen comic, an Obscure Gentlemen t-shirt for each member of the team, plus stickers and pins.
How We Wow:
Our contest plays out under conventional bracket-style rules. This is like 80s movies where you see a bracket on the screen and people get eliminated and everyone in their 20s looks like they’re 40 because of smoking and ozone.
Contestants are initially seeded based on follower count, doing battle over the course of several rounds, each with its own unique topic or theme. All tweet matchups are judged anonymously based on the text of the tweets alone, by a diverse panel of judges including accomplished writers, artists and humorists from primarily outside of the Twitterverse. The judges do not see race, gender, or what type of Shrek/Sonic the Hedgehog fetish you may suffer.
Why We Crazy:
Anonymous judging and the diversity of our judging panel help ensure that your tweet will rise (or fall) on its merits alone. You won’t get any special consideration for your follower count, Favstar trophies (RIP), which Twitter clique you claim, or the percentage of your avi that consists of cleavage. Your reputation and past glories don’t matter. The judges choose between two tweets based on their ability to put a truly unique and funny spin on the topic at hand. The winner moves on to the next round, and so on and so forth, until one champion remains standing.
Oh Wow:
All contestants will be given the round’s theme and have a week (Round 1 and 2 or 24 hours or sometimes more to respond with a new, original tweet.
Once you have posted your tweet, submit it to @theobscuregents account and @obscuregent will then send you and your opponent’s tweets text-only to a panel of 11 judges.
Once you submit, your opponent will be notified. Once they submit, you are both locked in and judging commences.
Winners will be announced as they are decided.
Frequently Asked Crazies
Q: Can I use an alt account?
A: Oh wow. You don’t want to compete on main? If you win, your regular account will never receive the credit. That’s crazy.
Q: Do I need to workshop with my teammates?
A:We don’t wow however you want to crazy.
Q: How many tweets can I tweet?
A: Everyone has different tactics and strategies. Tweet as many or as few responses to the prompt as you want. You only submit one. Just make sure you’re happy with it. Send one tweet and one tweet only to @theobscuregents via DM. You can, however, change your submission as long as your opponent hasn’t locked in the battle with their submission.
Q: Can I use old tweets or do they have to be new?
A: Oh wow. You want to try submitting an old tweet for a new tweet contest? That’s crazy.
Q: Is this contest fixed?
A: Real talk, no wow that’s crazy: This is the fairest contest on the Internet. Entirely anonymous, entirely judged by people outside of your Twitter circle, entirely based on how clever and original and funny and on-topic the judges find your tweet to be.
Q: My friends say my tweet was better. How did I lose to a horrible tweet?
A: This is why you’re here. To submit your content to an unbiased panel who don’t know you or your friends. Your friends will tell you that you’re amazing because THEY ARE YOUR FRIENDS. Take the loss with grace and humility.
Q: Can you give me any details about the vote tally and the judges’ discussion?
A: In the end, are we all not dust in the wind?
Q: What if my opponent doesn’t submit?
A: In round 1, we have a list of potential contestants on stand-by. One of them will take your absentee opponent’s place. In every subsequent round, your opponent will forfeit and you will advance by default.
Q: I’m an edgy humorist who tweets over-used clichés involving sex. Will I win? Of course I will, right?
A: We’re looking to reward the original, fresh and funny. That could mean something sexy, but don’t confuse shock value for craftsmanship.
Q: I go viral every other week. I’m going to win, right?
A: Tweet-decking, bots, and networking skills have no power here and neither does yo momma.
Q: Can I protest the result to @ObscureGent?
A: Sure you can. He will probably say “Oh wow, crazy.”
Q: I’m a big fan of the Obscure Gentlemen. Do I have an edge for knowing them?
A: No! The judges have no idea who you are and hate kind of pandering references in tweets.
Q: I’m going to ask @obscuregent for advice in choosing the tweet I submit. That’ll give me an edge, right?
A: No. Do NOT ask him for advice. He hates giving it and his track record isn’t anything to write home about.
First there were 128. Then 64. Then 32. Then 16. Then merely eight. Then our final four. Now, only two contestants remain. Whatever you want to say about our judges, you can’t say we don’t know math.
Let’s take a moment to share our gratitude for all the wonderfully imaginative voices that didn’t make it this far. Our judges’ room was frequently the site of heated debate, close-call tiebreakers, and mourning over a very worthy tweet losing to another that was equally creative and funny. Not always, though, we had a few clunkers in the mix. But thank you all for trying, and we hope you’ll be back.
The championship is determined by a best-of-three battle. Here are your themes.
Theme 1: Free Style
Write a NEW, original tweet on any topic and with any format you want.
Theme 2: Interact with a Cashier
Write a tweet about an interaction between you and a fast-food cashier. Here’s the stipulation: you cannot end on a “Sir this is a Wendy’s” type of punchline. In other words, the joke cannot be the mere fact that you are saying something out of place to someone in a customer service situation. Here’s an example of what we’re talking about.
Me: Sometimes I just feel like, what’s the point of it all, you know? Like, why are we here?
Cashier: Sir this is a Wendy’s can you please order something.
Yeah, don’t do that. Find humor in something intrinsic to the experience of ordering food.
Theme 3: Recycle
Submit a tweet you had posted in the past, prior to this contest commencing. The tweet cannot have been submitted to this or any previous OFAPZ contest. Just a personal fav.
Deadline: 3/27 11:34am PST
All three of your tweets must be submitted to @theobscuregents to lock in your final round. The Theme 3 battle will only take place in the event of a tie.
God’s luck and good speeds be with you and also to you!
