I want to talk about Christoper Robin for a second. Since I was little, something has always bugged me. Why does a little boy play with a bunch of stuffed animals? I could understand one single stuffed animal, but all his damn toys are adorable little animals. Sure you could say “what about Calvin and Hobbes?” While you have a point, the big difference is that Calvin see’s Hobbes as a manly tiger bro. This Robin kid see’s his as, well, stuffed animals. I’m just curious what kind of little boy’s idea of adventure is tea parties and rebuilding the house of a depressed donkey.

Come to think of it, this little boy gave all of his toys mental problems or personality disorders. Rabbit is an anal retentive OCD-ridden rabbit, Tigger is ADHD personified topped off with a touch of blow, Pigglet has almost every phobia known to modern science, Pooh is hooked on hallucagens, Kanga and Roo have father/husband abandonment issues, Eeyore is suffering from depression, Owl is a pathological liar and Gopher is, well, Gopher’s an asshole.

What I’m getting at here is that Christopher Robin is a strange and possibly demented little kid. He’s definitely socially awkward.

Some older folks may not understand this comic, and I don’t blame you. Just head over to¬†http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/pedobearand then cry yourself to sleep.

-Aaron A. Alvarez, Pie Advocate and 4Chan poster.